You show up in the most unexpected places during the day, my precious daughter. I find you in the words of the latest book I’m reading. I hear you in the lyrics of songs. You’re there in the petal of a flower and the whisker of a cat. Did you go skipping through my life and randomly scatter small fragments of yourself in everything? How clever of you.
I opened the piano bench; found sheet music with your “notes to self” at the side of the stack. I looked in a closet and noticed your Russian Nesting Dolls on the top shelf. I moved the wardrobe and discovered one of your big sparkly red heart stickers still on the right side. A silly cat drawing from you in my dresser drawer. Little things that were always there, but were unnoticed and inconsequential until now.
What would you tell me? Move on? Quit dwelling on the past? Sad place to visit, but don’t unpack your bags? Easy for you to say, my girl. I’ve said those things to myself and I understand the wisdom in the words. Yes, it sounds like a solid plan – until I’m looking through some older papers for something specific and what!! out pops a handwritten poem you wrote to me when you were in the 5th grade. What is that doing here? Proof you’ve seeded my entire life with bits and pieces of yours.
I miss you. So much.